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Conversation is an important part of effective leadership and change for the following reasons:

  • Vision must be shared, before it can be lived… this requires conversation.
  • Change is underpinned by conversation Organisations change, when people change…. and … people change one conversation at a time…..
  • Employee engagement is driven by meaning and purpose… this requires conversation.
  • Execution requires alignment of action…. this requires conversation.

Given the importance of conversations in the leadership practice, the following principles serve as useful guides to leaders wanting to shape conversation:

  • Leaders are the custodians of an organisations conversation. Conversation happens on a daily basis in within teams and organisations and much of this conversation occurs by default. By this I mean that it’s aimless and unproductive. The quality of an organisation’s conversation is the leadership’s responsibility. To effectively navigate change leaders need to be proactively engaged in focusing, shaping and influencing an organisation’s conversation. The quality of the conversation can be directly correlated with the quality of the organisation’s leadership. Using conversation deliberately means that we need to think carefully about how we will craft conversation and how we can use it purposefully.Quality conversation leads to effective decision making, engaged employees, a compelling vision and aligned execution.  This requires leaders have a clear point of view about, what the organisation needs to be talking about at this time. “A leader’s job is to engineer epiphanies one conversation at a time.” - Susan Scott
  • Effective conversation is about meaningful inquiry. An effective conversation is always based on asking questions that matter. This means that leaders must to be open to multiple perspectives and view points. To explore all facets of an issue requires open questioning your primary tool. Asking not telling, using open ended questions then standing back to listen. This is the key skill of inquiry. What is the ratio between asking and telling in your daily conversations?
  • Conversations shape the context in which people act. Effective leaders use conversation deliberately to shape the organisations direction. However, without a clear philosophy and vision, the shaping of the organisations conversation cannot happen. Leaders need to have a clear message that effectively sets the container in which conversations take place. A great container for conversation require leaders to be clear about the following issues:
    • The organisations purpose - why it exists?
    • The organisations key objectives – what it needs to achieve?
    • The business model – how it makes money?
    • The leadership philosophy - how people behave?
    • Their goals, priorities and actions – what is most important, what should be do first?

“What gets talked about in a company and how it gets talked about determines what will happen. Or won’t happen. Conversations provide clarity or confusion. Invite cross-boundary collaboration and cooperation or add concertina wire to the walls between well-defended fiefdoms. Inspire us to tackle our toughest challenges or stop us dead in our tracks wondering why we bothered to get out of bed this morning.” - Susan Scott

  • Language and words shape meaning. Effective leaders are very aware of the impact of their words. What a leaders does and what a leader says, are amplified and exaggerated by their constituents. Given this, if leaders don’t take charge of their words and carefully shape their messages, someone else will do it for them.

“…it’s through language that we create the world, because it is nothing until we describe it. And when we describe it, we create distinctions that govern our actions. To put it another way, we do not describe the world we see, but we see the world we describe.” - Joseph Jaworski, Synchronicity: the Inner Path of Leadership

  • Build bridges and not walls. Leaders are in the business of building bridged to the future, this require the breaking down of walls! Change will always require the destruction of walls and the building of bridges. One of the best ways to do this in conversation is to replaceYes, but . . .” and instead say “Yes, and . . .” When someone says something you disagree with, don’t make them wrong with “Yes, but I don’t agree with you” Rather, help them understand that you you have a different point of view “Yes, and in my experience there is another way of understanding that situation.”
  • Leaders selectively involve influential people in meaningful conversations. When seeking to bring about change, leaders involve influential people to help shape the message and allow them to take the necessary action to bring the message to life. This involves a very conscious choice of people, and of process that’s convened to manage the organisations the conversation. Conversation taps into our head and hearts, it taps our mind and our emotions. Inspire influential people and they will take your message to others, sparking further conversation…
  • Keep the conversation focused on a few key themes. Focus the organisations attention on a few key themes, the essential drivers of performance and shapers of behaviour. Concentrate the key themes on what really matters. These themes must be simple enough to communicate effectively and be understood. They should be repeated over and over, be managed and measured so that they lead to action. Key themes need to be framed so that they capture the imagination and inspire further conversation.

Considering the above principles, how effectively are you leading your organisations conversation?

 

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Leader as social architect…

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The need for effective "social architectures" within organisation is critical if we are too ensure that we develop future leaders, to drive innovation and to create an organisation that has a great legacy. If we examine our leadership, I’m sure we’ll find that meetings are where we do much, if not most, of our leading.

Peter Block in his book “The Answer to How is Yes” discusses the importance of the leaders’ role as social architect which he describes as follows:

"Where the architect designs physical space, the social architect designs social space….. the role of the social architect is to create service-orientated organisations, businesses, governments, and schools that meet their institutional objectives in a way that gives those involved space to act on what matters to them…. The social architect’s task is to create the space for people to act on what matters to them."

Social architecture is about leading in a way that creates space for what matters! To focus on creating the necessary conditions for acting on what matters is one of the most urgent needs of organisations today. Peter Block goes on to say that "Acting on what matters is an act of leadership, it is not dependent on the leadership of others." This means we all need to take responsibility for our choices and our actions. Leadership is a choice, it’s a decision we make to act on what matters. Issues such as integrity, responsibility, and authenticity are all issues that matter.

 

The five capabilities of the social architect

Peter Block describe the following five capabilities as being necessary for the social architect to be effective. Paradoxically much on these ‘capabilities’ seem to get lost in the organisation we work in today…

  1. Convening: "Social architecture is fundamentally, a convening function, giving particular attention to all aspects of how people gather. The future is created as a collective act…… The fundamental tenet of social architecture is that the way people gather is critical to the way the system functions." In many organisations meetings are seen as a ‘necessary evil’, something to be tolerated, in between more important events. The consideration of how people gather and meet is of secondary importance.
  2. Naming the question: "The social architect has an obligation to define the context, or the playing field, and then define the right questions, at least to start with". Too many people dive into the how, selling solutions and describing best practices. Not enough people lead by taking the time to understand the quest that matters.
  3. Initiating new conversations for learning: "To sustain the habitability of a social system we must initiate new conversations and manage the airspace so that all voices stay engaged with each other." Too many conversations in organisations are initiated to ‘align’ people to lead them towards a predetermined answer, with not enough learning happening.
  4. Sticking with strategies of engagement and consent: "…dialogue itself is part of the solution…. Commitment and accountability cannot be sold. They have to be evoked, and evocation comes through conversation." Organisations change through effective conversation.
  5. Designing strategies that support local choice: "If our intent is to create a social system that people want to inhabit then the social architect’s job is to demand that the inhabitants join in designing the system."

Looking at the above list it seems that organisations are failing in their ability to create social systems that encourage people to act on what matters. Instead organisation are creating systems of compliance. What has been the result of your leadership?

 

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Carol Hymowitz wrote an interesting article "Sometimes, Moving Up Makes It Harder to See What Goes On Below" discussing the need to leaders to kee in touch with what’s happening on the ground in their organisations and teams…

"Executives know success in business depends on identifying and fixing problems before they become crises. It is the most basic rule in management: No matter how smart your strategies seem on paper, if you don’t know how they’re being executed and whether there are urgent problems, you won’t be successful. …The higher executives climb, the less likely they are to know what is and isn’t working at their companies. Many are surrounded by yes people who filter information; others dismiss or ignore bearers of bad news…..Ken Siegel, an organizational psychologist and president of the Impact Group in Los Angeles, believes that most CEOs avoid learning what their employees are thinking and doing. He advises those who want to get to the truth to assemble a senior team of people with diverse points of view. ‘Instead of surrounding them with executives who think just like they do, they need people down the hall who are their opposites, have very different strengths and push them to see reality differently,’ he says….. Executives at big companies who have many layers of management between themselves and front-line employees face the biggest challenge finding out how their strategies are actually working. Those who want accurate information must commit to spending time in the field — often and on their own — where they are away from handlers and can coax employees to be forthcoming about problems."

How effective is your feedback loop? Are you getting the good and especially the bad news from the ground? Good quality information and feedback is essential for the effective execution of your vision and strategy. Poor information equals poor decision making and failed strategy….!

 

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Resolving stuck conversations…..

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I have posted before on the importance of conversation in leadership (here and here). Meaningful strategic conversation is an emotionally draining and difficult leadership task. However without meaningful conversation, buy-in and commitment remains elusive, as was observed by Steven Covey “no involvement, no commitment“. Meaning conversation creates involvement……. which generates the commitment …… and…… it’s commitment that ensures aligned action and an effective end result. Therefore, getting the conversations right is of critical importance. 

 

One of the most frustrating situation which a leader is faced with is one where a team’s conversation becomes stuck. I’m sure we’ve all experienced these  stuck conversations, on these occasions:

  • People feel they have not been heard and therefore keep repeating the same points over and over again.
  • It feels like everyone in the room has run our of ideas.
  • People feel that they have missed some critical aspect of the issue at hand and therefore get stuck in analysis paralysis.
  • People are ask themselves, ”why we’re have in this conversation again?”
  • People feel that they don’t have all the facts necessary to commit to a course of action.
  • There seems to be a hundred different reasons why the ideas resented to solve a problem are doomed to failure and will not work.

Unless stuck conversations are resolved, effective action will remain elusive, additionally any action “agreed” upon in the meeting will fail to be executed. Getting a stuck conversation back on track and productive requires insight into the meeting dynamics. It’s in these situations that I’ve found the ”change formula” (I previously posted on the change formula here) a useful tool. The change formula describes what’s required to bring about change in an organisation or in this case a conversation. The formula shows that change will occur when a dissatisfaction with the current situation, a vision of what is possible, and the first steps toward reaching the vision are greater than the resistance to change, as illustrated below….

 

 

The key insight behind this formula is that if the value of dissatisfaction, or vision, or first steps is zero, the resistance to change will not be overcome nor can anyone commit to taking ant action. A critical mass cannot be formed, and any organisational change cannot be sustained. Just as these components are required for meaningful organisational change they;re also necessary for meaningful conversations. So, to use the change formula when you’re next in a stuck conversation, help the meeting through the following steps:

 

1) Check for a Shared Understanding of Current Reality

  • Are the right people in the room?
  • Do all the people in the room have access to the evidence, data and facts relating to this problem (or opportunity)? Has this data been shared and discussed? 
  • Have the people in the room discussed the available data and shared their interpretation(s) of the facts?
  • Is there sufficient diversity of opinion and organisational functions for us to have a meaningful discussion?
  • Do all the people engaged in the conversation have the same understanding of the problem (or opportunity)?
  • Have use used tangible and specific examples, anecdotes and stories to illustrate the impact or the problem (or opportunity)?
  • Has the exploration of the facts and data made those in the room dissatisfied with the current situation? If not you may need to stop the meeting and start a programme of collective learning, see my previous post on why this is necessary…

2) Facilitate a Shared Vision of the Future

  • Do all the people engaged in the conversation have a common understanding of what a desirable outcome would look like?
  • Have we explored various alternative futures? 
  • Have we considered each alternative future’s advantages and disadvantages?
  • Have you answered the WIIFM (What’s In It For Me?) question?
  • Have you engaged people emotionally by creating an inspiring picture of the future?

3) Agree the Next Steps

  • Is the gap between the current reality and the future vision small enough to be achievable, but not too large to be overwhelming? If not you’re going to have to chunk the the next steps into tangible short-term tasks that people can relate to (get the minds around)….
  • Are the next steps achievable in the short term (6-12 months)?
  • Are the actions described in S.M.A.R.T. terms (see my previous post on how to achieve this here) ?
  • Has each action have an owner who is responsible for the S.M.A.R.T. outcome?
  • Have you agreed to how the progress towards the vision will be tracked and managed?

That’s it, a simple and effective framework to help you resolve a stuck conversation. Any additional thoughts, ideas and suggestions are welcome. Try it, I would be interested in your feedback and experiences in using and improving on this approach….

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Heath and Dan Heath, authors of “Made to Stick“, ask a very interesting question in their article in Fast Company,  ”Give ‘em Something to Talk About” discusses a very interesting question…

“Your product may be good, but will it spark a conversation?”

Conversation creates and emotional connection with your product and increases a persons connection with the product…

“Conversation isn’t everything….  But all businesses today crave the credibility, not to mention the free advertising, that comes from word of mouth. As such marketing matures into its own discipline, more companies are thinking about how to kick-start it. So why is it rare to find a business that is good at sparking these customer conversations? ….Call it the 105% Rule. From a word-of-mouth perspective, it’s virtually impossible to discuss an experience that is 5% better than the norm on all dimensions. People don’t talk like mystery shoppers, reporting diligently on each relevant feature. People talk about the exceptions, the unexpected, the highlights….. Conversations can’t be “snapped on” after the fact. You have to plan for them. So what’s your plan? How can you give your customers something to talk about? Fostering the conversation you want customers to have about your products should be an explicit part of product development.”

 

The Leadership Insight

Conversation is an important part of our social, emotional and intellectual make up. What get’s talked about generally gets attention and gets done. As leaders in your organisation and community what are you doing to spark a conversation? Meaningful conversations are the catalyst for change. They help us to grind a new pair of glasses with which to see the world. When we see the world differently we begin to act differently….!

What action are you taking to catalyze meaningful conversations and spark change?

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I posted previously about the importance of leading through conversation.  Leadership conversations are those difficult conversations we have about exploring who we are, what we value, what we stand for and where we are going. They’re about breaking new ground and exploring together the future that we want to create. Often the staring point for these type of conversations is a clear understanding of our current reality.  In my experience seeing current reality as it is as opposed to how we wish is were is, without becoming defensive and rationalizing away what we find, is a very difficult conversation. I believe that effective leadership conversations occur when we learn. When leading conversations, it’s important that as leaders we encourage a specific type of conversation, a conversation that Mark Gerzon refers to as dialogue.

 

Mark Gerzon author of “Leading Through Conflict: How Successful Leaders Transform Differences into Opportunities” wrote a great article on HBS Working Knowledge titled Moving Beyond Debate: Start a Dialogue which captures the difference between debate and dialogue and provides a good foundation for building great leadership conversations. As Mark points out, people prefer dialogue over powerpoint!

As I worked in more than a hundred organizations or communities over the past decade, I kept track of which form of discourse my clients most often wanted. They did not want more speeches and presentations. They did not want more debates between two know-­it-­alls, each of whom was sure they were right and the other person was wrong. They did not want yet another “exchange of views” that skirted difficult issues and papered over problems. What they yearned for was deep, honest, inclusive, and respectful dialogue.

 

Key insight….. effective dialogue is built on trust!

 

Trust is the foundation of great dialogue. It’s trust that allows people, who each have different world views, beliefs and frames of reference to engage in productive dialogue. Julio Olalla says that  ”Trust is the precondition for coordinated action“. Trust makes conversation possible and where there is trust defensiveness is reduced and learning can begin. As highlighted in the article:

“….polarized debate (which is rampant in both corporate and civic life) does not raise the level of trust; conversely, genuine dialogue (which is rare) often does.”

Trust increases a teams creativity. This allows people to explore new territory and bridge different worldviews:

Our goal now is to build the trust necessary to create alliances between adversaries (bridging) so that they can catalyze new approaches to, and potentially breakthroughs in, the conflict (innovation).

Trust is built by engaging in dialogue which is described in the article by the following table:

 

Debate

Dialogue

Assuming that there is a right answer, and that you have it Assuming that many people have pieces of the answer
Combative: participants attempt to prove the other side wrong Collaborative: participants work together toward common understanding
About winning About exploring common ground
Listening to find flaws and make counter-arguments Listening to understand, find meaning and agreement
Defending our own assumptions as truth Revealing our assumptions for reevaluation
Seeing two sides of an issue Seeing all sides of an issue
Defending one’s own views against those of others Admitting that others’ thinking can improve one’s own.
Searching for flaws and weaknesses in others’ positions Searching for strengths and value in others’ positions
By creating a winner and a loser, discouraging further discussion Keeping the topic even after the discussion formally ends
Seeking a conclusion or vote that ratifies your position Discovering new options, not seeking closure

 

  In discussing the above table Mark makes the following observations:

Notice how debate is a powerful strategy for advocating a fixed position, while dialogue is far better for inquiry, building relationships, and creating innovations……While debate is useful for making decisions and taking votes, dialogue is the key to renewal. The power of debate is that two polarized voices are free to speak. But the power of dialogue is that these voices can actually be heard.

One of the benefits of engage in dialogue is that leaders are able to gain higher levels of commitment those involved in dialogue. As Steven Covey observed “No involvement, no commitment“.

An organization or community can develop the clearest, most inspiring plans. But if those involved do not feel heard and engaged, and if their concerns are not taken into account through genuine dialogue, those plans will not be well executed.

 Dialogue is what effective conversation is all about. The interesting part is that there seems to be so little dialogue happen in business today. We’re so busy rushing to get things done that we fail to slow down and make time for meaningful dialogue. The consequences are an increasing lack of meaning and purpose in organisations (see previous posts here and here). We may have gained efficiency, but at what cost? It seems to me that too many businesses have lost their soul in the process!

 

“I never saw an instance of one or two disputants convincing the other by argument.” —Thomas Jefferson

 

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Leading through conversation

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Leaders shape the world through the conversations they initiate and engage in. The amazing thing is how often we forget the power of conversation in shaping how we see the world. Organisations consist of conversations, conversations with teams, employees and customers. Conversation affects how we think, which in turn affects how we act.

“…its through language that we create the world, because it is nothing until we describe it. And when we describe it, we create distinctions that govern our actions. To put it another way, we do not describe the world we see, but we see the world we describe. - Joseph Jaworski, Synchronicity: the Inner Path of Leadership

Organisations consist of human beings, not only structures, processes, systems and resources. As such, they require open, honest and effective communication to become successful. This means that communication is an important leadership practice. Unless people are aware of what’s going on around them they’re unable to engage in driving the organisations’ strategy. Given the powerful role that conversations play in guiding and directing an organisation, it’s amazing how often conversation is overlooked as a leadership tool. Successful leaders recognize the importance of shaping an organisation’s conversation.

“A leader’s job is to engineer epiphanies one conversation at a time.” - Susan Scott

The purpose of strategic conversation is to focus and inspire a team and an organisation. When leaders talk about the right issues, in the right way - extraordinary things begin to happen. But if you get the conversation wrong, people become passive, unmotivated, negative and cynical.

“What gets talked about in a company and how it gets talked about determines what will happen. Or won’t happen. Conversations provide clarity or confusion. Invite cross-boundary collaboration and cooperation or add concertina wire to the walls between well-defended fiefdoms. Inspire us to tackle our toughest challenges or stop us dead in our tracks wondering why we bothered to get out of bed this morning.” - Susan Scott

Conversation is the begining of change…. It’s through conversation that our thinking begins to change, and changed thinking results in changed behaviour. Conversation, when carefully crafted and managed is a powerful means of influencing the heart and minds of others……. as in the end only people can change.

  • Groups don’t change……
  • Teams don’t change……
  • Organisations don’t change………

 

Organisations change, when people change…. and … people change one conversation at a time…..

It’s the role of leadership to focus an organisation’s conversation…

How conscious have your been in shaping your “system of conversation”?

 

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With the increasing complexity the roles and behaviours of leaders need to change to suite a complex environment. The Dannemiller Tyson Associates discusses three new rules for leaders in the 21st Century:

Old Rule #1: The leader’s job is to know, and to serve as a final authority in important decisions.

New Rule: The leader’s job (in the 21st Century) is to call people together whom we have typically kept apart, and to find ways to uncover and connect the collective wisdom of our people. When leaders follow this rule, we’ve seen that this shared wisdom emerges most effectively people are invited to come together and share “one-brain, one heart.” Here everyone in the organization, through accepting each others’ views, comes to see that we all know the same thing (”one brain”), and we are all connected around the same yearnings and vision of a preferred future for the organization (”one heart”).

Old Rule #2: The leader’s job is to control-information, people, risk, the future. The effective leader is in charge of everything that’s going on, both inside and outside the organization. The leader’s job is to ensure that people in the organization obey the rules, and people in the organization look to the leader to keep them safe (e.g., “If I obey, then I’ll have a job, and the company will survive).

New Rule: The leader’s job is to ask questions and facilitate conversations at ALL levels of the organization. An organization can achieve its goals quickly and successfully only when people’s energy is aligned and their commitment is focused, and we believe that this requires a leader to engage people at all levels of the organization in connected discussion.

Old Rule #3: The leader’s job is to drive and monitor organization performance by focusing on what is going wrong, and punishing mistakes.

New Rule: The leader’s job is to build and sustain high performance by noticing and appreciating when people do things right-especially when they act with courage, integrity, and accountability. Reinforcing courageous, right-minded action, especially when it turns out to be a mistake, is the only way to encourage people to take risks, and leaders who follow this rule typically build organizations with spirit and pride.

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Our leadership conversations need to build bridges, not walls! Too often I see daily interactions that result in unnecessary conflict because of how we conduct ourselves in conversations. The best attitude to adopt in conversation is one of learning with the objective of building bridges. You can significantly improve your conversation by practicing the following three communication principles:

Replace “Yes But….” with “Yes and…”

Renata Guizzardi (Via Mathemagenic) posted describes this principle:

There are two distinct ways to collaborate with someone on their research work: the ‘and’ way and the ‘but’ way. In the ‘and’ way, one focuses on the positive aspects of the ideas being presented, adding new insights on top of them. Conversely, in the ‘but’ way, one identifies the limitations of the proposed ideas, focusing solely on negative aspects. Although both ways are valid, there is a risk in taking the ‘but’ strategy, since looking at the obstacles before an idea is sufficiently mature may lead to a creativity block.

A “yes, but…” response says you disagree with the speaker, “yes, but…” response makes them wrong. A “yes, and…” response shows you have a different point of view, this helps to prevent the conversation from becoming a battle over who’s right.

Seek to Understand

As often quoted by Stephen Covey “Seek first to understand, then to be understood”, a well known principle that’s not widely practiced. Give your full attention and listen to what’s being said and what’s not being said. Then, check your understanding by repeating a summary, of your understanding, in your own words, of what you heard was said. Only move to another topic once you have confirmed you both agree on what was said. GottaGettaBlog wrote and interesting post on listening, in it he quoted from a Harvard Business Review article, written in 1957 by Ralph G. Nichols and Leonard A. Stevens, called “Listening to People,” that described listening process as follows:

“The newspapers reported not too long ago, that a church was torn down in Europe and shipped stone by stone to America, where it was assembled in its original form. The moving of the church is analogous to what happens when a person speaks and is understood by a listener. The talker has a thought. To transmit his thought, he takes it apart by putting it into words. The words, sent through the air to the listener, must then be mentally reassembled into the original thought if they are to be thoroughly understood. But most people do not know what to listen for, and so cannot reconstruct the thought.”

Lead with Open Questions

The best way to lead a discussion on a topic is to lead the conversation with open questions. An open questions is one that allows for a range of responses, for example, “What do you think our options are?”. Closed questions allow only for one word responses like “yes” or “no”, for example “Do you think option A will work?”. Open questions allow for exploration and encourages a sharing of various opinions and experiences.

These three changes in your daily conversation, if practiced, will make a big difference in your conversations, help to building bridges and not walls. A learning attitude toward our conversation and the practice of these three principle I’ve found makes a significant difference.

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The Power of Conversations…

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I’m constantly amazed by the power of conversation in our lives, some of my experiences with conversations are:

  • I’m amazed at how many novel ideas I come up with during informal conversations. It seems to me that conversations help to pull new ideas and concepts out of me and others in the group. Considering this, informal conversations are especially rich sources of creativity, learning and innovation within organisations.
  • Conversations give me energy, they generate energy, often I find conversations as a catalyst for action. In this way conversations help me to organise and prepare for action!
  • Conversations help me to think, shape new ideas and concepts. Conversations help us to see the world from a different perspectives.

“…it’s through language that we create the world, because it is nothing until we describe it. And when we describe it, we create distinctions that govern our actions. To put it another way, we do not describe the world we see, but we see the world we describe.” - Joseph Jaworski, Synchronicity: the Inner Path of Leadership

All this leaves me asking for more……

  • How can we cultivate and nourish conversations in our personal lives, organisations and communities?
  • If conversations occurring in our lives and organisations are a catalyst for creativity and innovation, should we not be taking them more seriously? Should we not become more intentional in managing and nuturing these conversations?

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